Chatter

In a busy, but cozy restaurant, a few of us girls meet for a long overdue dinner. We arrive almost all at once, and after an excited exchange of warm hugs and hellos, the six of us find a seat around the rectangular table. These friends of mine have never been short on words, and so at once the conversations ignite. Renovation plans, travel opportunities, beauty details and “kid talk” are only a few of the topics that are touched upon. At first, we don’t linger on any one subject for long. Our conversations had to be, at one time, navigated through the interruption of crying babies or demanding toddlers, and although it is no longer the case. We absent-mindedly still begin a million conversations at once to ensure that nothing is missed. As we all share details of our daily lives since the last time we were together, I notice that this verbal ritual of unloading occurrences, anticipations or worries is our way of putting in place who and where we are. It is our way to check in with each other. The unfortunate waiter trying to take our meal order can barely get a word in. Although our table is not the only boisterous one, we are definitely leading the pack. Work stories, new releases, the Oscars… the lively chatter continues. And then, like many times before, in the midst of loud and animated exchanges of stories something happens. The conversation quiets. It slows down and for a moment, everyone around the table is in tuned to a single discourse. One of us needs guidance or reassurance. Intuitively, the conversation becomes focused. Eyes and bodies face the one who is in need of attention. The conversation has transformed. Words are mindfully exchanged and expressed carefully this time around. I find that the dialogue is intentional, no longer superficial. The noises of the restaurant have become muted in my mind and the only words that I hear are the ones expressed at our table. The consciousness of our group is one of care. Whether the six of us have varied opinions or beliefs our mutual understanding and acceptance of each other in these times is all that matters. Putting words to situations, analyzing and labeling emotions seem to shed some light and perspective. A consensus is reached, the problem resolved, for now. And before I realize it, the noises of the restaurant abruptly return, laughter erupts, one conversation leads to another and our senseless and sparkling chatter returns.